i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
