no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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