Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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