Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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