i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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