Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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