Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
