What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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