cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
