I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
