Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
