Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
