uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize