You just made me feel so damn special
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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