Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
