Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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