just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
