she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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