I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I supernannyed him into submission
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
