Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
