i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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