in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
