I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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