I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
