So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
