I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
