Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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