It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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