Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize