I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
