I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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