its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
