You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
