She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
