i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize