Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
