if you like me you must not know who I am
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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