shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
