Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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