i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
