I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
