It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
