he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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