is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
