i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
