thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
