i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
