Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The Olympian is in my bed
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
