am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
