Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize