My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
