idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My ass is underappreciated
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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