It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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