Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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