I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i came on her dog
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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