I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize