like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm both gender and math confused
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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