Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize