I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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