I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
ttyl tear gas
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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