well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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