You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
