Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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