I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
