They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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