So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
