just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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