Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
