i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
