I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
